maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
