Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
