we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
