Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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