is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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