just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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