singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
