he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i think i just lost a toe
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
