No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
