To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
