What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
