Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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