now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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