How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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