Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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