No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
