Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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