I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
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Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
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I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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