we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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