if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
