hotel room ftw
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm passing your future prison.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
There r osticjed everywhere
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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