So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
