she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
