Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
