i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
