I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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