I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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