We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
