Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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