Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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