i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just found puke in my bra..
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize