I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He felt like a one man threesome
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
