still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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