Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
