TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
