In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize