I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
