Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
