Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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