sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
and she was petting her beer can
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
