I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Panties = found
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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