I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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