some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize