Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
where are you?
Hypothermia
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
This toilet bowl is my home.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
