I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
