you didnt know i had herpes?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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