New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
don't judge my taste in strippers
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
