you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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