i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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