just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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