tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
