he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
never play flip cup with pint glasses
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize