But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
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im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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