i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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