I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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