If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
