Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize