yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
